Welcome 2012

Starting off 2012 with a bang thanks to my dearest one and only lover.... Shasha Shukor.... And oh ya... Steve Job.... RIP

Suprise, suprise

Since I reactivate my old facebook account, I see a lot of changes around me. Among my friends, working colleague and sometime unexpected people. Before that let me quote a verse from the Holy Quran and a Hadith or the saying of our Beloved Rasul before we proceed.

Hadith from sahih Bukhari


Volume 7, Book 63, Number 188:
Narrated 'Aisha:
Allah's Apostle gave us the option (to remain with him or to be divorced) and we selected Allah and His Apostle . So, giving us that option was not regarded as divorce.





O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may Take away part of the dower ye have given them,-except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good. (4:19)


Yess, Divorce. I have seen more than once a family institution crumbled to the ground. I have encounter more than 1 couple around me facing a troubled marriage. And most of them are below 30 years old. Why is this rampant in our society? Is it because of the lacking of education in marriage prior to the wedding ceremony? Or maybe just because Marriage has been regarded as trend rather than ibadah? Or it is merely for sexual pleasures? The Rasul had said in his Hadith as below that regards the Holiness or Barakah of Marriage:

Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Volume 7, Book 62, Number 4, Narrated 'Abdullah 

We were with the Prophet while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Apostle said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power."

Well this is all I can write for now... I'll do more research and come back with a very complete elaboration

I am back

I am back after so many months of silence. There's a lot in my mind. This has been blocking me from writing. Yes I decide to write again after so many months.

Everything is in a jumble for quite sometime. My life goes up and down, and going down was the easiest part. Going up again was a challenge. Yes, all this had made me a stronger person. no doubt. I will try to write longer for this entry and as in my lecturer's terminology.... to "vomit" on the keyboard. Where do I start....

Politics
A lot had happen since the overly ( is this how you spell the word?) Bersih 2.0 for a free and fair election. The action of the authority, the over acting of opposition leaders, the ignorance of some government supporters and the posers on twitter and facebook politician wannabees... add colors to the political arena... but I am not to comment further as I am getting fed up with this politics. I've been in politics since the 98/99 Reformasi years and how I see hypocrisy stands paramount beyond what people belief and what they preach.. yeah.. Politician can say the dumbest things... So I guess I'm just gonna blog more on book reviews and historical fact however boring it may be...

Social Networkings
I have reactivated my old facebook account solely for the purpose of networking and connecting with my peers,,, currently trying to adapt twitter into my life but I guess I am either too late or too out of the league for that. I always felt too boring to be on twitter and I guess no one even bother to read my tweets... they're just damn boring anyway. Now I am trying to join forums and wanted to be a trainspotter... before its too late....I am just gonna try and do what I belief as different from others, be it if there is anyone going to support me or not..Damn even now I have already a plan for that


Spiritual
I am trying to get back to Islam as whole.. Looking at all the challenges God had given me, I felt it is a blessing in disguise.. With the threat against my beloved Religion and the torment that my beloved Rasul is facing I guess I should play more part in defending this religion of mine even if I have to die doing it

Personal
Yes, this is the last part of my ramblings. It is so hard to get through someone else's past. I wanted an honest relationship. I guess this is my best and true part of Ramadhan so far.. no wastage of food for breakfast and then just had to really understand the meaning of sawm... fasting in arab.. Not trying to compare I am trying to be honest to myself. I turned 30 this year and what did I achieve..nothing I guess.. but come to think of it, I wanna throw away my low self esteem but I am unable to do so and most of the time I feel stupid. The only thing that holds me together is the faith that I still have an Al- Rahman and Al-Rahim above to protect me. Now, everytime I felt a stinging pain about anything I can only cry and talk to Him as He is the Almighty, All Powerful and All Hearing, it is just a matter of time before His ultimate help will come and release me from this pain its either in this world or the hereafter..

Career
Nahh... I'll just skip this.. daily rambling of my work place available elsewhere at my mobile blog

Happy monday

Have you ever felt at times you are not in Malaysia? Have you ever felt that you are being oppressed by a group of minorities who think they are better than others? Yes, welcome to my world people

Live was never a smooth ride... I have been played over and over again by the same idiots whom i try to respect and at the same time was played down. Now I see around me the creepers are going in to control the country. And I always believe that they are not that brilliant. and yeah..you guys do live on lies and deception

16 April-The day that will shook Sarawak

I just came back from a DAP rally in Stutong, a predominantly Chinese area. Estimated around 30,000 people were there and mostly youngsters. I have been to a PKR rally in Bandar Baru Semariang, an estimated 5,000 to 10,000 people were there.

This is the scenario that was never seen in Sarawak. People were clamouring to listen to all the Pakatan Rakyat's leaders speech. Sarawak has always been an asset to the Federal BN and whenever an election in Sarawak, the almost cynical comment that I will receive is that, "tutup mata pun orang akan pangkah BN". This will not repeat itself from what I have witnessed for the past days.

The younger Sarawakians are aware that they need to change. And what attract them more than PKR and DAP. I do not see PAS as a crowd puller for this election and PKR is using itself by branding it to be more Youth Friendly. I see all sort of youngsters supporting them from mat rempit to young professionals. It seems that they are not too worried of having a Semenanjung based party to come and dictate what is the best for us Sarawakian.

The main issue here is the current Chief Ministers bores us to the maximum. He has been in power since 1981 and he do forget that most of the leader his age has either died or went into self confinement or vanish into thin air. The younger generation of Sarawkians wanted a hip Chief Minister to promote betterment of the society. But no.that was never meant to happen. So, I assume the people of Sarawak will translate that into a vote.

ARMAND AZHA SUARA ANAK MUDA: HEY YOU NAMEWEE JGN KACAU TAU

ARMAND AZHA SUARA ANAK MUDA: HEY YOU NAMEWEE JGN KACAU TAU

He made a decision to quit the Ultra Nationalist Malay Rights Group PERKASA. Let us all wish this charismatic leader a best wish of luck and not to stop contributing to the better understanding of Malay rights and custom and to promote better understanding between Malays and Non Malays

Sometimes I Ponder

Today  I started early.. I went to this interview at the office. Oh ya,, I am suppose to be on off but I am so excited about this one opportunity I decide to just attend.. And ya,,, Insya Allah, all should go well :)


I needed this break. I have been going through hell for the past months. I don't really get it if anyone were not to understand me. I am just trying to survive in a very harsh and alien world. Mind you I am a "foreigner" in my own country. I have been given promises after promises. Especially those with sugar coatings. Here is my story


It all started when there was this one issue going on at the workplace, very near to the bonus payout for my company. There was a breach in procedure of unbarring staff benefit lines (yes this is one of the not so many perks left). Two of us from my unit were caught breaching this rules. And down the drain all my annual effort and bonus went. We end up having a warning letter each worth of a yearly toil of blood, sweat and tears.


Then both of us tried to pick what left of ourselves back. We tried to be the best but the suffering only ended after 6 months. We were some what traumatised and still bear that scar till today. Then somewhere along the way this friend of mine decided to transfer. That was not the end but a beginning....


Then some jokers decide that we some distant south asian country can do miracles at a minimal cost... eureka... then my unit was shrunk....During that time I stopped receiving my part time salary..then from there all hell break lose.


That was only a small part of it.. I am heartless now. Trying to live in an old world full of young people. At 30 I am nothing to be proud off. I am now piss broke, chewing more than I could swallow and trying my best, crawling just to continue another day. I am very tired. Gone were the days when I eat only home cooked food. My house is in a mess and no one understand. I think it is better off for me to stay all alone, or how?


I always belief that no matter what comes to you, God do have a mysterious way to show its love to us. I always think that He will always be kind hearted. It's just that sometimes I will cry and complaint only to Him. Why am I in such a mess? Only He alone knows. Sometime alone at night I wake up and cries.,.. I had passed the level where I am angry. I am now at a stage of pitying myself. He will always be the Almighty holder of solutions

untitle

Apa saja lah dosa aku ngan ko. semua bnda salah. semua bnda x kener. ko sedar ke x? mcm2 aku dh buat.. ko xbuat apa pun.. aku jugak yg sakit. ya, semua salah ko. Aku rasa dh smpai masa aku salahkn org lain plak mcm mana org lain salahkn aku. ko nk aku seksa smpai mati ke? apa x ckup lagi aku seksa? ko mmg pandai..pndai larikn diri... biar org lain tanggung susah ko. biar aku yg jahanam... ko penah pikir pasal aku? xpenah rasanya... setakat main wayang bleh la. tapi nk tolong? ada? aku tlg ko ada lh... penah ke ko keluar duit tolong aku? xpenah kot. dari petrol, mkn, tol rokok, semua duit aku... jadik.. kpd yg berkenaan...sedar2 la sikit. ko bukannya bagus sgt pun

Help !!!!

PEOPLE JUST DO NOT UNDERSTAND ME. SORRY IF I FREAK YOU OUT BUT THAT IS WHO I AM AND PLEASE LEARN TO ACCEPT ME THE WAY IT IS. DON'T JUST BE WITH ME BECIASE OF THE MONEY.. IF I AM PISS BROKE THEN U DECIDE TO LEAVE ME. AS EASY AS SNAPPING YOUR DAMN FINGER. IT IS JUST SO FUCKED UP NOW THAT I DO NOT NEED ANYMORE PARASITE IN MY BLOODY LIFE. SO, IF  YOU DECUDE TO BE ANOTHER PARASITE.. SO PLEASE THE DOOR IS OPEN AND FUCK OFF....

Don't care and Don't wanna care

People may think that I am ungrateful...so fuck it.. I just think that if nobody gonna pity then nobody deserve me..

Another ramblings...

Hrm.. the system is currently down at the office. As if it tries to comprehend what I feel inside, the whole office system is down. So I decide to write something.

I feel very weird.. I have a feeling that I am facing a brick wall.. with so much trouble and with virtually no way out. It has been always been like this for the past years. Since last year it all started. I think there is a predictive pattern for all my sufferings as it will start from October and drag on till somewhere around May. I always held on to this one thin string of faith that God must have something up his sleeve.. its just that I don't know for how long I can stand to this

Yes, I must be thankful that there are others who suffer more than me. There are people who does not have a job, lost limbs and stuff. But I sometime wonder, what did I do to deserve this. I look around and everyone seems very happy with what they do.

I try my best to make everyone happy even with the implication that I will hurt myself somewhere along the way. I sometime cry when I think about what happen to me.

My Bucket List

All I want before I die is this:

1. A trip to Mekah
2. A loving wive and a Happy Family
3. My own company
4. Bringing my parents to trip overseas all expenses paid
5. A cattle farm in New Zealand
6. Sponsor a rugby team
7. Reading a book everyday
8. Travelling to Amsterdam, Morocco and Australia
9. Trip to Smithsonian and all the museums
10. Own house

Terima Kasih

Sekarang depan TV tgk astro... kepala agak serabut dan lapar.. tapi aku takder selera..bagus gak. At least tak payah aku keluar duit. Apa salah aku pun aku tak tau. Semua macam tak berapa menjadi. Rasanya macam nak kener pikir balik semua benda

Bonda tersayang ada cakap. "Kalau susah sangat, balik jer kampung". Terima kasih mak, aku tau Mak risau. Tapi balik maksudnya mengalah. Ya, satu hari nanti mesti aku balik. Aku dah terlalu lama di sini jadik tak salah seorang mak risau. Tinggal seorang diri, macam-macam boleh jadik. Aku tau, takde sapa pun yang akan baca apa yang aku tulis nih. Aku cuma harap apa yang aku tulis akan jadi kenangan kalau aku dah tak ada.

Bila aku lihat keliling, aku rasa macam orang lain ada lagi yang susah. Aku dh cuba jadik yang terbaik. Aku dah cuba jadik orang yang boleh membahagiakan semua orang. Perancangan aku gagal. Yang terakhir aku dah buat satu keputusan yang agak besar. Ya, semoga orang lain bahagia. Aku merana, mungkin dah jadi ketentuan. Aku bersyukur dalam keadaan aku yang begini masih ada yang lagi susah dari aku. Aku tak sangka yang hidup aku akan jadi macam ni. Sekarang aku cuma perlu redha. 

Kerjaku sekarang tidak mendatangkan perasaan yang sama seperti dulu. Kadang-kadang aku rasa macam hidup tak lengkap. Rasa macam tak berapa seronok. Aku cuma menunggu jalan keluar yang terbaik Allah boleh bagi aku. Aku dah terlalu penat mengharap. Terlalu penat menyimpan impian dan akhirnya... ke laut..

10 Things I Hate About You

I hate the way you talk to me,
And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car,
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick,
It even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right,
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
Even worse when you make me cry
I hate it when you're not around,
And the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you,
Not even close…
Not even a little bit…
Not even at all.

Haisshhh

Alamak...skali tak cukup la plak bulan nih.. mampus

JPUNS: UMNO ke Sarawak, Affendi Jeman

Politics..
Sarawak state Election is just around the corner and I have been asked by my friends of the chances that BN Sarawak had if any. To be frank I am not too confident. With all the opportunist we have from Peninsular in the Body of  A sarawakian I am not too sure.


Sarawak, I myself consider as the 1st and last bastion of tolerance in Malaysia. Being the largest state, we hail the best tolerance level among our other countrymen in Malaysia.We have the biggest dam, the largest flower, the longest serving Chief Minister, the most number of politicians wannabe and the stupidest politician. Yes, I am referring to the blokes in the so called still illegal UMNO Sarawak


Don't get me wrong... I am no PKR or DAP or any Pakatan Rakyat supporter or sympathizer... I am proud to say an UMNO member, with a membership card and I am a Branch Youth Chief... so I have every single right to question anyone posing as an UMNO member and using the party's name as "Saviour' of the Bumi's in Sarawak. As much as I hate the mismanagement of the state and my love for UMNO I honestly believe that we do not need another party from Semenanjung to change the much harmonious and colorful scenario of Sarawak.

I first met Affendi last raya trip and I was shocked when an overcharged under taste restaurant that was quite near to my house held an open house... well. this was no ordinary open house. I saw a lot of UMNO flags and banners flying around the place and it make me wonder, am I in Sarawak or in Semenanjung. When I introduced myself as a Ketua Pemuda UMNO from PJU he start talking in bahasa semenanjung instead of the local dialect. He looked at me as if I am trying to con him...OMG...get a life man... you must have a strategy rather than just blindly attacking an institution which has been at the helm of power for so long... 


He promised to call me back after exchanging phone numbers and until this writting I am yet to receive any calls from him... He expect me a Youth chief to call you, which I myself don't even know whether you are a member or not to call you? I don't even call my boss if I don't think its worthy.. If you want to be in Politics, start opening your head and using your brains to think

Interlok? A controversy or plain stupidity

Just read a short comment from a writer that  I took from the blog http://silverfishopinion.blogspot.com/. An interesting read and will be good for every race. I copy from it here:

Monday, February 07, 2011

Interlok revisited

I was going to write about something else, but two things happened that made me change my mind. First, was this gentleman I met who asked me what I did for a living? Then when he heard that I was a publisher, he immediately asked my opinion on the Interlok controversy. I started cautiously by saying that I had read the book, both the Malay and English versions, but before I could continue he asked:

“You mean you have read the book?”

I stopped in my tracks. It was a bizarre question and a bizarre moment. Why was he asking for my opinion if he thought I hadn’t read the book? If he wanted a hysterical uninformed opinion, there was plenty going around. Perhaps, he thought I would abandon scholarship for tribal loyalty and salute the flag he was waving, without a second thought. Perhaps, he was surprised that I could read Malay and, worse still, admit it. Perhaps, he was shocked that, in these days of self-righteous chest-thumping, I dared to look at an issue from another angle.

Second, was this email from one person (whom I shall leave him unnamed): DOES A LOYAL MALAYSIAN INDIAN DESERVE THIS KIND OF INSULT IN A COUNTRY HE CALLS MOTHERLAND ?????????? (Yes, all in capitals, 18 point fonts and in red colour, to boot).

My opinion of the book in question is that, though wobbly in (many) parts and a little naïve, it is certainly one of the better Malaysian books I have read. It is, basically, a story of the human spirit. Abdullah Hussain’s empathy with his characters (whether it is Seman, Cing Huat or Maniam) is quite admirable. Read the following, for example:

Kadang-kadang dia masih lapar. Bau roti yang dibakar dan disapu serikaya menimbulkan rangsangan dalam kepalanya untuk makan, bau makanan yang di masak oleh penjual nasi di sudut kedai itu menimbulkan nafsu untuk makan dan kadang kadang dia melihat daging babi yang tergantung dengan lemaknya yang berminyak-minyak itu, menggoda dia untuk makan. (Interlok, page 156)

(Sometimes he (Cing Huat) remained hungry. The smell of bread being toasted and spread with serikaya would stimulate his brain to eat, the smell of rice being cooked by the food seller next door triggered his appetite and sometimes when he saw the  (roast) pork hanging with its fatty oil dripping, it would entice him.)

A Malay writer talking about the smell or lard from roast pork? No, Abdullah Hussain is not afraid to go where no one else dares, if it serves his art. I hugely admire his research, his craft and his courage. And he is, certainly, no racist.

As for the offending “p” word it appears twice in the book:

Satu perkara besar yang membuat mereka senang bergaul ialah mereka itu tergolong dalam satu kasta Paria. Mereka tidak takut mengotori sesiapa kalau bersentuhan dan mereka bebas lepas bergaul. (Interlok, page 251)

(One thing that made it easy for them to mix around was the fact that they were all from the same Pariah caste. They had no fear of polluting anyone they touched and were free to mingle.)

One feels for Maniam. Yes, this is how he would have felt, coming from a background of centuries of oppression and suppression. Abdullah Hussain got it right. (Mulk Raj Anand would have applauded, too.) Taking the “p” word out would be doing injustice to the Maniams of the world. It would have been precisely because of his caste that he would have been considered untouchable and unclean, and he would have had every reason to be nervous.

Di sini, Maniam dapati perbezaan perkerjaan menurut kasta, seperti yang masih berlaku di negerinya, tidak ada.

Pertama kali inilah yang ditanya oleh Maniam kapada Muthu, seorang kawan dari desanya yang sudah lama tinggal di Pulau Pinang. Muthu seorang dari kasta Paria, seperti Maniam juga, dia berkerja sebagai kerani di sebuah gudang orang putih dekat perlabuhan. (Interlok, page 257)

(Over here, Maniam noticed that working according to one’s caste was not in practice.
That was the first thing that Maniam asked Muthu, a friend from the same village who had lived in Penang for a long time. Muthu was from the Pariah caste, just like Maniam, and he was working as a clerk at the godowns belonging to the white people near the port.)

There is nothing negative about this section either. It is a statement of fact. To a person like Maniam, this would have been a big deal indeed. He could do any work he wanted, even become a clerk like his friend Muthu, his Malaysian Dream, his ticket out of hell.  According to an article in the Malay Mail on Monday 24th August, 2009, 65% of MIC members belong to this caste although they now refer to themselves as Namavars – our people. Again, Abdullah Hussain’s research cannot be faulted.

Interlok is the story of three people and their trials. Seman is devastated when he learns from his father on his deathbed that the land they have been tilling all these years does not belong to them but a Chinese towkay, Cina Panjang. Chin Huat leaves his mother to come to Malaya with his father to escape an impending famine in China. Maniam travels to Malaya, the land he keeps hearing about, leaving his wife behind to escape crippling poverty. And in the end, they all get together and live happily ever after (which, in hind-sight, is the actual fairy tale).

The first part about Seman is, probably, the best written. Cing Huat’s section is good, too, though Abdullah Hussain does not say how or why this personable Chinese lad transforms himself into the predator businessman, Cina Panjang. The Maniam section is the weakest part and is riddled with minor and major errors. It is as if the author, tired of research, resorted to watching a few Tamil movies for the right cliches -- complete with the long suffering hero, the unfaithful wife, the totally evil villain (Suppiah), the mandatory rape scene followed by the suicide of the victim, and the long lost son who discovers that the prisoner in his police lockup is really his father. Corny to the max.

Then, the final scene is all Malaysian TV during elections: sugared to the hilt to induce terminal diabetes in the entire population of a small country.

But, one thing remains unclear, though. By some accounts, the version to be used in school is an abridged one (and not the 503-page original). If that is the case then all my comments above could be completely off the mark, because I have no idea what has been taken out and what remains. Knowing the track record of our gomen pen-pushers over decades past, I am aware that they are capable of being quite jahat about it.

Anyway, the cabinet has appointed a committee to look into the matter. This, normally, means that nothing will happen. Some new crisis will emerge and we all forget about Interlok. We are, after all, Malaysians.

The one good thing to come out of this crisis is that many people are reading the book, and Interlok is sold out in most bookshops. Good on you, Abdullah Hussain.

Credit to the Silverfish Opinion blog.. if you wish to browse other update you may do so here

Happy Saturday

Today went well for a bit. I was suppose to settle my sink issues but ending up only went to astro. Damn, the only cable TV provider had the leisure to boss around and irritate the live out of its subscribers. Someone need to come up with an option and fight the idiots running the show.. At least we have an option rather than a monopoly of a single operator.

Today, the Tenang by election Nomination day. Heard all went well for both candidates. After all, Johor is the Legendary Birthplace of UMNO and Malay Nasionalist. Then we have another by election coming up both in Merlimau and Port Klang (hopefuly the Prot Klang MP can proof his MC). Hell, since Anwar came back into Malaysian politics, we had so many by elections. Election Commissions never had such a busy time in Malaysian history :p. I suggest that we have a thorough medical check up of all future candidates before he/she became an MP. And people should refrain from inviting these MP's to functions which involves nasi minyak or such... no more cholestrol for you guys...

Saturday night..owh..what a bliss... for some with money that is... for me? Hrrmmm...just a quiet night sipping coffee and contemplating what to do next

Ahlan Wa Sahlan 2011

Welcome to a new year.. a bit too late but I assume it's better than nothing. It has been a turbulence year 2010 but I think it should improve. I had done mistakes, multiple mistakes, and maybe wrong decision.. but I am just letting it go.

People were asking, what is your new year resolution? My answer is just.. I dun intend to plan one. Just as bad as having a headache, but having a commitment that you assume you can achieve is another story. Hrmm.... I will simplify the so called resolution as "Getting rich or Die Trying"..lol.. I am just going to spend more time on myself.. go to places I never go. Try things that I wanted all this while..

I recently read about a tour around Europe..backpacking.. That would be great.. But my "fetish" is more to travelling by train... how bout that? Readers Digest had this one article on how to have a healthy trip..damn I need that now. It has been a new challenge and experience plus all the additional stress.

I am really going to leave all the bad past in with all my 2010 memories and start afresh..